I had an amazing talk with my mom about relationships... I am in transition of sorts in this area, as I am being honest about some things I once denied. I also have found terminologies to "give voice" to my feelings.
There have been a few key relationships in my life that have changed tremendously over the last few years. I've tried to make sense of some things, but ultimately, trust that rifts cause SHIFTS... Many times, we don't shift or change anything we are comfortable with until they become uncomfortable. (Hello!)
So, lately, I've been trying to figure out the how's and the why's and the "what nows" of some of my relationships, as I open up to the TRUTH in these situations. What I'm sharing is what I've learned about myself, and about relationship spheres from my mom. Here's my list:
1. Some relationships are great until someone sees that you're not all you're hyped up to be... I.e. Human.
2. Everyone isn't ready to deal on the same level of authenticity or lack thereof.
3. Sometimes, thinking about others that are in your life IS a way of dealing with self (as I tried to figure out why I kept dwelling on "them" when I wanted to focus on ME.)
4. People in your life exist in particular spheres of your existence. Sometimes, you try to make them fit into another sphere, or THEY try, but it doesn't work. You're only supposed to go to the club together, you're only work buddies, etc so don't try to put them in your accountability circle or make them a best friend. Your best friend may actually be the person you speak to the least during the week, but when you talk it's GOLD... She/he may not come out to your happy hour event, so don't try to put her/him in that sphere. Lol
5. The moment you surrender how things are supposed to be, and accept what IS, is the moment peace comes.
6. Your idea of friendship is not always the same as the other party(parties).
7. The same way you can relegate others to particular social or emotional spheres in your life, they also have that freedom. Don't take it personal. What God has for YOU is for YOU! Vibes and tribes. Reasons and seasons.
8. Love is just love. Continue to give it freely, knowing that there will be bumps on the road of relationships because that's life...
9. Relationships require work, but some levels of "work" aren't applicable to all situations. If it's a surface dealing, don't try to make it a deep, authentic, meaningful interaction that will last forever. Btw, everyone's definition of deep, authentic, meaningful, and FOREVER may be different.
10. Expectations are the devil. The end. Lol
Xo, the Beautiful Dawn